9.16

 Not gonna lie. Work is getting to me. I find myself more stressed, not enjoying it in the moment. Most patients I listen to, I find myself getting annoyed at their complaints or their roundabout way of describing what is going on...which makes me feel terrible. They are here for help and I am listening but also getting frustrated. The system sucks. Seeing 3+ people an hour while trying to be efficient...it is not right. I should be in the moment with these people...I need to try harder I know. 

Also being the leader and setting the tone...the negativity slips out sometime and then feel defeated again because another failure...failing my team. 

Yes this can all be read as maybe I am being too hard on myself BUT what is the difference between being accountable and then too hard .... where do you cross the line ya know 


A sobbing hispanic mother asking how I can help get her son off this path of destruction he is on...at 17 years old. this kid had multiple stints of rehab behind him. a likely alcohol addiction. a new violent streak at home. and his parents are terrified. but also...the cynical part of me wonders..what help is there for someone who is not ready for it. obvs he is a minor. but he won't be for long. 

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